Acceptance Is (Autism Acceptance Month
2015)
cross-posted on Tumblr
I just re-read the story of Jess Wilson
and her daughter Brooke with Brooke's
grandfather (Jess's father). How he did not make Brooke give him
a hug until she was ready.
(I can understand why parents and
relatives want hugs and kisses and touch and verbal affection. It is
society's normal, and it is not their fault that everyone expects
it).
But acceptance is respect. Acceptance
is knowing that even if you want it, an Autistic person's dignity and
autonomy and right to choose what kinds of affection to display is
more important. Acceptance is knowing that a nonspeaking person
doesn't have to say “I love you” out loud to communicate the
sentiment.
Some would say acceptance is not
fighting to save an Autistic person, accepting defeat. But quack
cures and forced exposure to unpleasant, painful stimuli and
compliance training will not, because these inverventions can do much
harm, and an autistic person does not need to be saved from autism.
(I can understand why a culture that
tells us being autistic is wrong can have an impact on people, and
the professionals will tell people that 40 hours of ABA is necessary
to have an impact).
But I would argue that acceptance is
love and love is what nurtures anyone. Acceptance is love and
respect. Acceptance should show with people's actions. It's not
enough to say you accept someone and then try to change them into
someone they are not.
For instance, extinguishing stimming
because it's “embarrassing” or forcing them to look you in the
face or forcing someone to look in other people's faces would not be
acceptance. Some good examples of acceptance include what Brooke's
grandfather did, above; actively working to dispel myths about
autism; listening to someone's behavior instead of dismissing it;
listening
to Autistic people and boosting their voices; and working
to raise a generation of Autistic people respectfully.
Acceptance is also hoping there will be
more generations of autistic people instead of an attempt at
preventing us. We should be here. The
world would lose part of its diversity without us. And we have a
right to exist.
